Getting to Know You

Videos of old television shows have become available for viewing on YouTube. As I added URLs to shows in which Jack Lord appeared to my website, Remembering Jack Lord, I began watching an episode of Alcoa Presents: One Step Beyond entitled "Father Image" (MGM, 1959).

In the episode, Jack portrayed Dan Gardner, the estranged son of a wealthy industrialist. His father had just died, and Dan had returned home to take over the business he had inherited. As he realized how much he meant to his father, Dan wept and asked,

Why do people have to die before we get to know them?

We tend not to consider television shows to be sources of profound statements; however, in this case, the bereaved son asked the question we all tend to ask ourselves at one time or another. The truth of the matter is that people cling to their identities as though revealing them would expose them to danger.

Would it really be dangerous to let people know we love chocolate and hate liver or that we secretly dream of becoming a world-class defense attorney or rocket scientist? The truth be known, it probably would help another person who had the same experience to know that we attempted to go into business for ourselves but failed.

Nowhere is this more relevant than in social networking. Too often, we don’t even know whether the people we meet are who they say they are. In fact, I have met two or three people who turned out to be completely fictitious creations. One purported to be a lawyer. Her fake persona lasted only until I asked for legal advice, and she had to admit she was not qualified to advise me. I have no idea who or what she is in real life. Was she hiding a past so terrible that she dared not let word get out? I doubt it. Actually, she seemed like a very nice lady. She just wasn’t a lawyer.

Another lady claimed to live in one location, until I said I knew a fellow author who lived near that town. Suddenly, she wasn’t from that location, but from a large city a number of miles away. Whether that was her real home, I’ll never know. The important point is that, over time, online friends, like in-person friends, establish relationships. This friend needed to buy a new car. Money was tight, and she feared she would buy a lemon. Several of us were familiar with the kind of car she was considering and shared information with her that helped her to make her decision. That is friendship. Should one of the friends have to learn that she was lying to us?

We are put on this earth to help each other get through this experience called "life." How much more helpful we could be if we dared to open up a bit and let people get to know us as who and what we really are. Am I being idealistic? Perhaps, in this sketchy day and age, yet it true, nonetheless.